When was the last time you said “look at that snail, magnificent!”?

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I got home this morning and before I got inside the house I saw this snail, this lone, slimy, brown-like creature crawling on our wall in the midst of the rain and sun fighting on who’s turn to take over the city’s weather.

So, what’s up with the snail you say? well, it’s not just about the snail.

Have you ever felt the urge to breakthrough and shine just like your favorite celebrities, heroes, artists and all the other strangers you’ve known but not know personally? I bet you did. If not, stop being an ass and admit it. Just kidding. Seriously. Admit it. Admiration is one way to want something that’s not  or not yet entirely yours. Think about it. I’M NOT SAYING I WANT TO BE A SNAIL NOW.

As I read and re-read the ending of “The Fault in Our Stars” by John Green, Thoughts kept flashing in my mind, thoughts that I’ve always asked God or this “Planet” why?

I’ve learned that it may not be the universe who’s looking or asking for attention but it’s us, we want the world to know we exist, as said in the book aforementioned. But hey, I’m not here to talk about the book. I just want to talk about how we, people, crave for happiness but neglect it ironically.

I’ve always dream of being a graphic artist, the one who creates advertisements all around the internet and out, I wanted to make beauty out of advertisements. Guess what? I have attained that dream, right after I graduated I got hired in a company who creates ads! Kinda cool huh? Yeah, well… for the first two months I guess. I’m now on my third month and I could barely find any fulfillment in what I’m doing anymore. Was it cause I have limited freedom? Am I impatient? pathetic? or what? I ask myself, why don’t I just quit? Then I asked again, Am I a quitter? If not then suck it all in! You wanted this.

There it was, lack of happiness. You strive and achieve but you fall. Why? I believe it’s because of all the neglect you attract in your life, there may be unwanted events happening in your life, I call them “strong, bad, uninvited forces”, which may occur from time to time depending on how you shield yourself from them. Yes I used the word “shield”, unbelievable right? Anyway, my point is, as said in star wars, “Use the Force”. Scientific, Religion, whichever method you prefer. There’s a whole lot of energy around you, use it to satisfy your happiness but never for your selfishness. Happiness is selfishness you say? I can attest to that. Happiness is when I looked at that snail and said “magnificent!”.

Simple things can bring you happiness, never forget that. Don’t ever let anger, pain, stress, envy and all the other negative elements given in this planet take that away from you. Mine got taken, but I’m working to take it back and be bad-ass at it.

If you ever feel sad, deprived etc., look back and see how you’re doing. Get back up, move on and kick some ass! Yes, i like the word “ass” and it makes me feel happy!

P.S. Just like Agustus, in the book “The Fault in Our Stars” by John Green,  my thoughts may be like stars, they’re scattered. Bear with me :)

Acceptance, it’s your choice of pain or joy to deal with.

What is Acceptance? From the dictionary it’s ” The act or process of accepting”. Makes sense.

I had been raised without a father. He’s not dead, but he seems to be in a difficult place where he can no longer be with us. It’s sad. Very sad.

People may think why I still think of my father, why don’t I hate him for leaving us, why do I care, why? Mainly because he’s my father. A female child needs her father’s comfort in difficult times, as per a male child needs his mother. It’s so hard to contain all the burden of not having someone to run to in times like these.

One thing that I am proud of is that I never gave up on myself. I know it’s easy to say all this because I’m still young and all but one thing is certain, The world has placed me in a situation only I could handle and I know I can.

I’ve dealt with different people, situations, emotions, all that the world could feed me at a very young age. As many people see me as a normal girl, I’m not. Deep down I’m broken and I’m searching for a way to fix myself.

How I handle things? there goes the acceptance. You have to accept everything that you cannot change, everything your hands are not capable of fixing, everything the world would be giving you. For a while you would cry, get angry, be furious, be regretful, but then you would find another way to remain with the happiness that you could still get.

  • Learn from the past, this means learn from other people’s as well not just yours. This lead me to a very bright path today.
  • Live in the present, because thinking about the past or the future won’t help.
  • Forget the Future, it’s never going to be a straight path towards your goals.
  • Accept the unacceptable and let them live where you have a joyful life.

Do what you dare.

Whatever it takes

It had come to my attention that I have been changing my looks ever since I got full control of myself. A month ago I dyed my hair blonde, a month before that I dyed it red although it doesn’t really show, and some time last year I have curly hair.

People may be wondering “what the hell is wrong with her”. Well, the fact is, I am a woman of art. To me, doing what I want to myself gives me the expression of my creativity. Art has really been my passion, not just painting or designing. To me, art is something you draw your life with. It’s everywhere.

So whatever look you want to pull. Whatever dress you want to wear. Make sure you’re comfortable and confident enough to “Do what you dare” and everything will turn our amazingly awesome.

 

Alone

Alone

Ever got your heart broken for the first time? I did.

Yes, they say we have to learn…but sometimes it’s just unfair.

Worst part is I blame myself for being so miserable right now. Why did I do this why didn’t I do that.

Tip: Try not to do anything stupid, else you’ll only regret it.

(Photo Credits to Benidick Bautista)

Transformations

Last Sunday, I tried  dying my hair “ombre style”. Why? Well. Here’s an explaination.

Ever get that feeling where you’re frustrated and you don’t want to take it out on vices? Yep. That’s exactly what I felt. (Not that I have vices btw)

Whenever I feel the pressures in life stressing on me I tend to change my looks. It somehow relieves me from all the depression that I am carrying. Do I have friends? Yes I do! but sometimes they wont ever understand how complicated my mind is.

I think from one thought to another. A thought for a thought in short?

Sometimes transformations gives me a second chance to start fresh and think fresh.  Transformation could be anything, be it physically or whatever. I just know, things will always go the way you want it if you choose it with all your heart.

Just don’t get affected by the negative comments by the people around you, yeah I comment on people’s changes but it’s always up to that individual to decide on how to react on what others opinion is.

Having dazzles in life? Keep it balanced.

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Here’s a drawing of something that was in my mind a few months ago taken from my phone. Just a little tip, keep your life balanced whenever you feel dazzled about those things that shine in front of you, remember to keep calm and don’t get blinded by excitement. Lastly, whenever it’s dark, and you feel so lonely and depressed, look on the bright side and don’t get blinded by the dark of course!

Balance will always keep you going.

I want to tell a lot more about this drawing but I’m to lazy, so it’s up to you to create your own description or impression on this one!